As someone who has a hard time letting things go, I'm definitely willing to admit that this summer has kicked my butt, and I am ready for it to be over. I've always been an empath, highly sensitive to the moods and emotional needs of others, and I've always been glad for and proud of that. It made me a good leader and team player because I cared about people. It still does.
However, I have always felt challenged because I often feel contradictory feelings about the same thing. For example, I can feel happy when I listen to a song I sang in high school or college chorus and also sad at the same time because I miss singing in a choir and the friends I made there. I am feeling a lot of these kinds of contradictions right now: I am glad and thankful that I met and shared time with someone in my past, and I feel sad that our time together was brief, and I feel sorry that they are going through a difficult time, and I wish to be supportive during this time (and sort of wish we could be friends), but I cannot be friends with them now.
Don't mistake my conciseness for flippancy, however. It took a lot of painful introspection and retrospection to get to this point of clarity. Weeks of digging up my past, doubting myself, reading old blog posts and journals, writing blog posts and in journals, crying at my desk, listening to sad songs and personal growth audiobooks, talking to old friends, and finally making the difficult decision to choose my own well being and happiness over my empathy for another even though I care/d a great deal for them.
Here's an article about the blue moon. It mentions this is the end of the lunar cycle that began with the new moon in Leo two weeks ago and also that this is a time to release, reflect, remember, reset, and rest. Which is what I'm trying to do.
So long, sweet summer.
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