Saturday, March 28, 2009

Blindsided

It has always been my nature to hold on to people and to embrace nostalgia with open arms. I miss people from every layer of my past often and with reckless abandon. Indeed, I often times find myself reveling in nostalgia--particularly when I feel the urge to escape the present. This afternoon I found myself, for example, with a box of photos on my lap and a thousand stories floating through my head from the years 1998-2002, and I loved every minute of it.

Being so used to that, I was blindsided tonight when I felt, for the first time I can remember, that I did not want to miss someone I found myself missing.

"I don't want the universe to start over. I just want to let it go. I just want to let it go on."

Treading water is no longer sufficient. Never was. I must swim through this heavy, heavy current if I'm to survive with air still in my lungs and my feet on solid ground.

Just breathe.

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