Birthday Memo

I distributed a copy of this in the form of a staff memo to everyone at work and thought it was witty enough to post here:

Ladies and Gentlemen,

Are those mid-March blues getting you down? Do you lie awake at night wondering how much longer this winter will last? Are you sadly pondering how you’re going to get through the day after St. Patrick’s Day? Do you just generally need your weary spirits lifted? Join me for a pint at Browning’s to celebrate my birthday after work this Friday the 18th beginning at or around 5:00pm, and I guarantee that Spring will begin just 2 short days later!

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Thank you.