I've got this ex-boy at work who I'm convinced is the most oblivious person on the planet. I'm not a violent person, but sometimes lately I just want to punch him in the face and knock some sense into him. He knows I'm not speaking to him right now, and yet he still tries to talk to me (though recently it's been indirect--he'll start a conversation in the hall right outside my office or he'll reply to something I said, even though I hadn't directed it toward him and didn't even know he was within earshot). Part of me wants to ask him to leave me alone again, but if that didn't work the first time, why should I expect it to work now? Also, it goes against the Me Not Speaking To Him Thing which I (at least) have been doing very well. And it's not that I'm sad about the breakup anymore. It's more that I'm mentally ready and wanting to move on, and having to deal with him every day at work is the only thing holding me back. It kinda pisses me off. And I don't want to be pissed off. I want to be able to be friends with him. Doesn't he know that I'll come around when I'm ready and he's just pushing me away by trying so hard? He's already moved on, so why won't he leave me alone and let me do the same? :(
Now I'd like to take a moment to send my warmest thoughts to my friend Julie and her family as they mourn the passing of her grandmother this morning. Et lux perpetua luceat eis.
For those of you keeping tabs (or wondering why I haven't emailed and called every day with updates), the past week has been 200% better than I expected re: this ex-boy. I no longer feel like hitting him when I see him around the building, and we actually exchanged a few sentences. I still find myself remembering that he wasn't so nice to me sometimes, but for the most part, I'm content with this reboot. It'll probably just be small talk for a little while, but that's perfectly okay. Thank you Julie, et al, for your support.
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